My 3 Intense Lessons of 2024: Invitation to Reflect
Dear Friends & Community,
As the year draws to a close and Solstice's long darkness invites us into reflection, I feel called to share some profound experiences from 2024 that have deepened my understanding of my journey through this human experience. Some of you will have heard a bit from me about these before, and I continue to integrate their lessons.
The Body as Sacred Vessel
This year brought me three powerful teachings on the precious nature of our physical existence and the balance between effort and surrender.
The first came during a February yoga retreat in Mexico, where an afternoon of boogie boarding turned into an unexpected teaching about life and death. Caught in a powerful rip current, I found myself being pulled far from shore into increasingly turbulent waters.
In that space between breaths, between life and death, something remarkable emerged. Through years of working with psychedelics and experiencing ego dissolution, I met this moment with an unexpected clarity. Rather than fear of death itself, I felt a profound grief at the prospect of losing my body – this sacred vessel that carries us through our earthly journey. I felt my Truth (gnosis) there is no annihilation of life, just loss of this physical form and personality. I wasn’t ready to give up this body into that eternal “what’s-next”, so I got very present and aware of my breath.
Grace arrived in the form of remembered lessons from Boy Scouts, guiding me to swim parallel to the shore until the ocean's currents shifted, carrying me back to safety. I've come to see this as a teaching about surrender and trust – the ocean first challenged me, then provided me the way home. I had my job to do — sustain my breath, keep swimming, but entrust my body to the greater flow around me.
The second teaching came more quietly but no less powerfully in July when a simple illness progressed to pneumonia and then sepsis. During those 36 hours in critical care, I experienced a different kind of surrender. My usual spiritual practices felt distant, and I discovered how quickly we can become separated from our vital life force. This experience opened my heart in new ways, particularly toward those who navigate chronic illness and persistent pain. There's a profound teaching for me here about compassion and the deep wisdom that can emerge from our most vulnerable moments. It essential (and compassionate) not to judge ourselves when we feel far from our spiritual grounding. Like abiding the ocean’s current, if we just find our breath and wait, our grounding will find us.
The High-Dose Dance of Surrender & Choice
A third significant teaching came during a high-dose mushroom journey in September. As the medicine opened its portal, I found myself confronting my exhaustion with the weight of constant striving – the endless calculations and strategies I'd been employing in every aspect of life, always seeking the "perfect" path forward.
In a moment of raw honesty, I heard myself tell my guide repeatedly, "It's so hard being human." The medicine, in its wisdom, offered a reflection that continues to reshape my understanding: "Is it truly hard being human, or is it the way you're choosing to be human?"
This insight illuminated how our effort to control and perfect our journey often separates us from the natural flow of life. Like the teaching of Yoda to Luke Skywalker, "There is no try, there is only do," I've come to understand that wisdom often lies not in endless calculation, but in present-moment awareness and trust in the unfolding of our path.
Sacred Work Moving Forward
These experiences have profoundly informed how I hold space for our work together. The Journey Retreats I offer at my Sonoma County home are held with an even deeper appreciation for the delicate balance between surrender and intention, between our human vulnerability and our infinite spiritual nature. Private solo and couples retreats are now available in both afternoon and overnight formats.
Understanding that financial constraints shouldn't limit access to this transformative work, I've expanded my sliding scale options. If you feel called to this work, I welcome a conversation about making it accessible while honoring its value.
An Invitation to Reflection
As we approach 2025, I invite you to create space for your own reflection. What experiences have opened your heart this year? What challenges have revealed themselves as teachers? What wisdom awaits harvesting from the rich soil of your journey?
If you feel called to explore these questions together, whether through a deep journey or integration support, I welcome you to schedule a free Check-In phone call or a Coaching session through my client portal. This work of conscious evolution is both deeply personal and profoundly collective – in walking our individual paths, we contribute to the healing of the whole.
May this solstice season bring you deeper into presence with your own sacred nature, with the beloved community that supports you, and with the living wisdom of our Earth. May we continue to grow together in love, understanding, and purpose.
With Deep Gratitude & Open-Hearted Presence,
O'Neill
P.S. You can easily schedule a conversation or session through the client portal on my website. I look forward to connecting and supporting your journey in whatever way serves your highest good.